


loving is easy

by orphan_account



Category: iKON (Korea Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-24
Updated: 2018-03-24
Packaged: 2019-03-23 07:33:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 13,015
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13782792
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: The one where Hanbin is an oblivious fuck and Jiwon is an obessive weirdo.





	1. one.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> loving is easy, but confessing is so damn hard.

Okay so maybe Jiwon's just a little obsessed. _Just a tiny bit_ , he confesses. But who can blame him when the boy he's obsessed with is just perfect?  _Like, he's literally flawless._ Jiwon blinks with heavy heart eyes, _Hanbin is so pretty. His hair is so fluffy. His eyes are so cute. His lips are so pink. I want  to kiss him._ He smiles dopily but when he blinks again, Hanbin is gone. _Where'd he go? I wanted to kiss him._ Jiwon frowns and when hears a snap right right in front of his face, he growls.  _So who is this dumbass that made my precious Hanbin go away?_

"Bro, stop staring. You look like a fucking creep."

"Fuck off, Junhoe. I was admiring the view," Jiwon snaps. 

Junhoe snorts, "Yeah? More like you were molesting Hanbin with your eyes." 

Jiwon sends Junhoe a nasty glare, rolls his eyes, and pointedly ignores his comment. _Junhoe's just dumb._  As he took the last sip of his tall Americano with  _extra_  caramel, he tosses it in the trash, looking behind him, _"Thanks for the drink, June!"_ He gives him his shiniest smile, but when he turns away, he rolls his eyes again. Jiwon then gets up to walk towards the library that Hanbin had dissapeared into, across the street from the cafe that Junhoe was still in, mouth gaping open. 

  
As Jiwon steps into the huge university library, his eyes and heart immediately sought out Hanbin. He was sitting at a large table alone, dozing off into a book. Jiwon thought he looked extremly adorable, so adorable that he wanted to pull up a chair right in front of Hanbin and just look at him. But even Jiwon had to admit, _that would be_ _fucking creepy_ , and if Junhoe was here, he'd probably smack him up-side his head for being even thinking about it. So, Jiwon settled for a seat a few tables away. And he did just look at him. He did it subtly, of course, hidden behind a thick book that Jiwon had no interest in.  _Wow, he looks like a porcelain angel._ As Jiwon continiuously stared, Hanbin moved unconsciously, feeling eyes on him. Jiwon's own eyes widened at the thought of Hanbin waking up and see him being a stalker, so he quickly buried his face into the book. After a minute or so, he swiftly stood up, taking the book with him, and moved into the long aisles of shelves filled with books upon books. Jiwon carefully chose an empty aisle where he felt safe, and promptly continued what he was doing: looking at Hanbin and daydreaming about all the different love scenarios that could happen if Hanbin was his. 

"Hey, Hanbin!"

Jiwon's ears immediately perked up at the sound of his love's name being called. He peeked through the aisle, and Jiwon seethed at what he saw. There, standing over Hanbin's shoulder, was no one other than Jiwon's most hated: Jung Jaewon. The asshole who had beaten Jiwon at the university's rap impromptu competition. Jiwon, who had been spitting fire bars, had lost it when Hanbin- wearing a soft pink hoodie that swallowed his whole body- walked in, smiling as bright as the sun. Jiwon quickly lost his cool, forgot his lyrics and started stuttering. Jaewon bursted into loud laughter and stole the rap game, winning easily. Jiwon swore he's never been so embarassed. He tried to look gracious in front of Hanbin, even going up to Jaewon to congratulate him, when the congratulations was literally shoved back in his face. 

"Jiwon, I gotta be honest with you man. I heard you were a notorious rapper, so I was imitidated by you at first. But hearing you live, I'm embarrassed I even felt like that. Good luck trying to get into the rap game with that, Ji," Jaewon was still laughing like crazy and he walked away, slinging an arm over Hanbin. Hanbin looked back at Jiwon sheepishly, mouthing a "sorry about him" to Jiwon. Jiwon weakly smiled back. He'd just been humiliated right in front of the love of his life. He sluggishly walked back to his apartment, found his secret stash of alcohol and moped; Jiwon imagined himself beating the shit out of Jaweon, rapping fire while at it,  and he giggled drunkenly.  _Left. Right. Punch. Kick. HAHAHA. Fuck you, Jaewon._ And so, that night, Jiwon fell asleep to the sound of his own wasted laughter. 

Back to reality, Jiwon shook his head. He looked up and saw Jaewon now occupying the seat across from Hanbin. Books were scattered in front of the two boys. Judging by the confused look on Jaewon's face, Jiwon knew that Hanbin was tutoring him.  _Ha, that dumb fuck would need tutoring._ But then, Jiwon thought about it more and his jealousy levels increasingly grew. Imagine being tutored by the cutest boy in school. Imagine his pretty eyelashes looking down at the text book and his soft voice trying to make you understand that concept. _That dumb ass, Jaewon, doesn't deserve it._ So, naturally, Jiwon did the most logical thing he could think of. He stormed his way up to the two boys and pulled up a chair right next to Hanbin.

“Hey guys! Bin,” Jiwon nodded carelessly to Jaewon, keeping his eyes on Hanbin, “What are you guys working on?”

Hanbin smiled warmly as he saw Jiwon, “Hi Jiwon, what are you doing here? I’m just tutoring Jaewon in biology: punnett squares, pedigrees and sex-linked traits. He actually has a test coming up this week.”

“Yeah, I’m actually here all the time. You know, being a intellectual and all,” Somewhere, across the table, Jaewon scoffed. Jiwon looked at the books scattered on the table, “You know what? I”m actually great at biology. Why don’t I just take over and help Jaewon out? Bin, you look like you’re gonna crash any second.”

As soon as he heard the offer, Hanbin lit up like a lamp, “Really? You’ll tutor Jaewon? I'm honestly so tired from my own classes, but Jaewon begged me to help him. He's a bit of a handful." Jaewon looked mortified. 

"Hanbin, you're not serious are you? You're gonna leave me with Jiwon?" 

Jiwon didn't look the tiniest bit offended and he even smirked at Jaewon. Hanbin frowned, "Don't be disrespectful, Jae. Jiwon's better at biology than me, so you should be grateful he's even offering to help. Seriousy, thank you Jiwon. You're a god send." 

Inside, Jiwon's heart was bursting at Hanbin's words. Outside, he beamed, "Yeah, of course. Anything for you, Bin." 

Hanbin smiled softly at the boy. He turned to Jaewon, looking catious, "Jaewon, you better pay attention to what Jiwon says. And you better not say any dumb shit. If you do, I'm not letting you play at next week's game. You're gonna be benched. Also, if you don't pass the test, you're benched. Have fun, Jae. Study hard. I'm leaving now." Oh yeah. Jiwon forgot to mention that Hanbin was the university's varisty soccer captain, and Jaewon  was just a rookie on the team. _God it he's so perfect_ , Jiwon thought dreamily. _His calves and thighs are so toned. I bet his ass looks great in uniform too._ Jiwon licked his lips unconsiously. 

Jiwon grinned, "Bye, Bin. Don't worry, I won't fail Jaewon here." 

As soon as Hanbin left, Jiwon turned to Jaewon. "Listen up, punk. I don't know shit about biology except that babies are made from sperm and egg. I just don't want your sorry ass to hang around Hanbin. So, you better study hard as fuck for the test, cause there's no way in hell I'm helping you. And if you even think about telling Hanbin about this, I'm gonna beat your ass. Oh, and if you fail the test, I'm gonna kick your ass. Study hard, Jaewon. Fighting!" With that, Jiwon cooly left the library, probably off to follow Hanbin some more.

Jaewon was left alone in the library, knowing he was fucked. He couldn't afford to fail the test and not play at the game next week, it was semi-finals. He also knew Jiwon was not bluffing when he said he would beat him up. Jaewon had seen Jiwon's body and arms, he'd never admit it, but that boy was as fit as a marbled statue. Either way, he had to pass the exam, and here he was getting zero help, "Fucking hell, I'm screwed." 

So a week later, as the three boys all met up at the cafe across the street from the library, Jaewon annouced his 85% on the biology exam. He smiled tightly as Jiwon swung his arm around his shoulders, "You're welcome, punk!". No one talked about how relieved they all were. Jaewon, relieved that he was saved from a beating, Jiwon relieved he was saved from his blunt lie, and sweet-little Hanbin just relieved that Jaewon had passed. 

 

~

 

Jiwon was currently stalking Hanbin at the grocery store. Yes that's right, the grocery store. Jiwon frowned, he didn't particularly like the word  _stalking_ , he prefered  _checking up on my boy_ , but even he knew that he was being a fucking weirdo right now. Jiwon, covered in a black hoodie, black sweatpants, with a matching black baseball cap, and a mask covering half his face, looked sort of like a serial killer. But in his world, he looked like Korea's hottest idol, strolling the grocery store casually. He definitely got more than a few stares, but he disregarded them easily, trailing behind Hanbin. But not really. Whenever he got within 10 feet of Hanbin, he scurried into a different aisle or hid in the huge frozen food section. In his shopping cart was exactly what Hanbin had in his. Yes, he picked up everything Hanbin picked up, and chucked in into his cart, mindlessly, not caring that he didn't actually like some of the stuff. He just wanted to stock his fridge and pantry full of Hanbin's favorite foods, so that when Hanbin became his, he'd have it all ready for him.  _I'm so thoughtful._ The mind of a complete pyschopath. 

"Choco-cone!! Choco-cone," Hanbin squealed quietly to himself when he walked upon the frozen treats section where Jiwon was currently camping out.  _God, he's so adorable. I could just eat him up._ Hanbin frowned. Jiwon was looking directly at him but he would not move out of the way, so that Hanbin could open the door and grab the ice cream. Jiwon was looking so intently at him, that Hanbin started to become freaked out. 

"Errr... Ahjussi? Uhhh... Mr. Ahjussi? ...... AHJUSSI?? Can you please move out of the way?" Hanbin was getting fustrated. Why was this guy in all black not moving away from Hanbin's precious chocolate ice cream cones? Hanbin decided if this guy wouldn't move in the next three seconds, he would call the super market attendent to help him out. 

Jiwon was so distracted and endeared by the boy that he didn't even hear Hanbin call out to him.  _Hanbin in glasses is so cute wow. And the black hoodie with orange sweatpants is such a good look on him. But what?_   _Ahjussi? Who's he calling an ahjussi? Wait, is he saying that to me? The fuck, I'm barely older than him. Shit, it must be the outfit. And my creepy stare. What the fuck is wrong with you, Jiwon?! Hanbin's probably scared of you right now._ Jiwon panicked. He decided to play it off and act as the ahjussi that Hanbin thought he was. Gruffly, Jiwon said, "Oh! Ahjussi is truly sorry, little boy. I'm getting old and I couldn't hear you, forgive an old man like me." Jiwon quickly moved to the side so that Hanbin could slide the glass door open and get his ice cream. 

Hanbin became flustered as he finally got a reply from the stranger. He smiled sweetly, "It's okay, Grandpa." He then grabbed the chocolate cones and proceeded to leave the aisle. It was getting cold. Jiwon didn't want him to leave though. 

"Wait! Let ahjussi pay for you." 

Hanbin gave Jiwon a weird look. _Fuck. What if he thinks I'm a pedophile?_ Again, Jiwon tried to play it off, "Err.. you remind me a lot of my younger brother. He lives in the States now and I miss him dearly. Let me pay for your snacks since I blocked your way?" As bullshit spewd from Jiwon's mouth, Hanbin began to tear up at his fake sob story. 

"Okay, Grandpa. But next time, let me buy you a meal for compensation. I hope you see your brother soon." 

_God, Hanbin was just too fucking sweet._

As the two boys, or  _one boy and one ahjussi_ , walked up to the counter to pay, Hanbin looked into the guy's shopping cart and it mirrored what he was buying exactly. 

"Wow! Ahjussi, we have the same taste. Everything we're buying is exactly the same!!" Hanbin exclaimed excitedly.

Inside, Jiwon was freaking the fuck out. He followed Hanbin around the grocery store and picked up everything the latter bought. It was not a mere coincedence, but Jiwon being a creepy stalker. He didn't know what to say, "Errrrr... yeah. Hahaha you really are like my little dongsaeng. These are all his favorite foods." 

Hanbin eyes widened, "Wow, that's crazy. These are mine too." He picked up a container of fermented kimchi that Jiwon thought was particularly disgusting, "This kimchi is the best." 

Jiwon scratched the back of his neck, "Yeah. It's delicious." 

Hanbin beamed. Jiwon died inside. _Too fucking cute._

 

~

 

"Yo! Dumbass!" 

[no response]

"Hey!! Hello? Jiwon?"

[no response]

"The fuck? What's wrong with him? Is he deaf?" 

"Nah, don't worry. Watch this. Hey Hanbin!'" 

Jiwon whirled around.  _Did someone say Hanbin? Who's looking for my baby?_

When he saw Jiwon turn around and finally face the two boys, Jinhwan cackled loudly, "Seriously, June? I can't believe that worked."

Junhoe rolled his eyes, "You don't even know. That's the only way to get Jiwon's attention these days." 

Hearing that, Jinhwan cooed, "Jiwon, it's so cute how you're obessed with this boy, but at the same time, it's fucking weird. I've never seen you like this." 

Jiwon's eyes glazed over, "Jinani! It's not just any boy. It's Kim Hanbin. Top student, student-athlete, president of the animal club, president of nation honor society... He's just so perfect, Jinan." 

Jinhwan grinned. He was shocked to see his best friend act this way. He's secretly glad that Jiwon changed from his old fuck boy ways into some adolescent youth giggling over his crush. It was nice to see some change. And as his best friend, he's happy to see Jiwon finally genuinely care about someone, although this was borderline obsessive. Hell, it wasn't even borderline. Jiwon was obsessed. Jinhwan smiled, he really hoped him and Hanbin would work out in the end. He'd rather see dopey Jiwon anyday over horny, bored Jiwon looking for random fucks and breaking hearts along the way. Junhoe on the other hand, he thought the whole situation was fucking hilarious. He's never seen Jiwon act like this, like some teenage girl. In fact, when he first met Jiwon, he was intimidated. Yeah, he was an inch shorter, but he was definitely more muscular than June, and his facial structure was so sharp, his jawline looked like it could leave a nasty cut. June did not want to associate with that guy. He was too scary. But at 16, June was infatuated with Jinhwan, who was Jiwon's hyung and best friend. Jinhwan convinced Junhoe that Jiwon wasn't scary at all, and was actually more like a sweet puppy. Like a bulldog. Scary on the outside, fluffy and soft on the inside. June was skeptic but he'd do anything for Jinhwan and so that's how he became friends with Jiwon. 

"Jiwon, you're so pathetic. Seriously, man. Why're you being like this when you know you could you get anyone in Seoul. You're a good-looking dude, Jiwon. Man up and confess or give up and move on. Don't be an obsessive stalker." 

Jiwon's face fell. _Am I really pathetic?  And ew, did Junhoe just compliment me?_ He scowled, "Bro, Jinhwan, can you tell your boyfriend to fuck off? Like yeah, I know I'm hot, but Hanbin, he's different. He's unique and special. And, like I don't know. Hanbin's just so gorgeous, I can't even compare. I just feel, so.. oh, I don't know. I just want him to like me. It's hard to confess because like, whenever I'm around him, I lose all ability to talk and I turn into a stuttery mess. It's embarassing, man. And then, there's apart of me that's like Hanbin's too good for me. I'm too fucked up and I fucked around too much.  _You'll just taint him. He's so pure. I feel like I'd ruin him_." 

Jinhwan wrapped his arms around Jiwon, squeezing him into a tight hug. Off to the side, Junhoe rolled his eyes. Jinhwan glared at his boyfriend until Junhoe sighed and came in and joined the group hug. Jiwon just needed some comfort. Jinhwan was shocked, he never really knew this was how Jiwon felt, he didn't know that his best friend was insecure about Hanbin. Jinhwan whispered, "Jiwon, you're my best friend. I love you to pieces and I would never lie to you. Trust me when I say this: you're not fucked up. The past doesn't define who you are, Jiwon. It doesn't matter how much of a playboy you were in the past because you're different now. And if Hanbin really liked you, he wouldn't care how much you hoed around." 

Jiwon's eyes watered, "Jinani, thank you. You're too good to me. June's seriously lucky." 

Jinhwan grinned and he whispered again, "You know it, Jiwon. And don't tell June this but, I would've liked you if he hadn't come around and stole my heart with his 16 year old dorky self. You were seriously cute, and I almost became obsessed with you." 

"HEY! I heard that." 

Jiwon and Jinhwan bursted into laughter. They broke out of their hug and Junhoe grabbed Jinhwan's hand and pulled him to himself. The jealousy was ablaze in his dark eyes. 

"Chill, June. I'm not into fairy boys. Jinhwan's yours. Just know, I'm hotter than you'll ever be and even your boyfriend thinks that, " Jiwon winks dramatically at Junhoe. 

Junhoe scoffed, "Fuck you, Jiwon." Then he softened, rememembering the conversation from moments ago, "but Jinan's right. You won't ruin Hanbin. In fact, I think he's ruined you." 

Jiwon laughed, "Yeah, he definitely ruined me. In the best way possible."  _I wonder what he's doing right now. I want to see him. I need to see him._ "Hey guys, it was nice catching up and all but I uhhh.. I have a load of laundry to do so I'm gonna head off now. Love you." And with that, Jiwon walked away quickly. 

Junhoe and Jinhwan looked at eachother. They both knew that Jiwon never did his own laundry. Jinhwan giggled, "He's hopeless, June." 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	2. two.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> loving is easy, you have me fucked up.

Jiwon was blowing kisses at himself in the mirror. Being the self-conceited, " _I love myself_ " type of guy, he could not stop stealing glances at his  _hot looks_. Looking at his reflection, " _Damn, Kim Jiwon_." Then he whistled at himself and winked back at the mirror. 

Rolling his eyes, Junhoe scoffed. Why was he friends with this self-induced narcissist? He asked himself that everyday, "Bro. Stop fronting. You don't look that great. You're like a downgrade John Travolta. But like, asian." 

June was trying to diss Jiwon the best he could, but both boys knew he was bluffing. Jiwon looked good as fuck. Being Junhoe, he could never admit that out loud. Unfortunately, his boyfriend, Jinhwan could. He voiced his opinion proudly, fake desire dripping from his voice, "Shut the fuck up June. Jiwon, you look like an upgrade of Tom Cruise. But like you know, asian. Damn, Jiwon. You seriously look gorgeous. Your hair looks good like that." 

Jiwon really did look stunning. Giving up on supreme hoodies and loose joggers, Jiwon went in for the kill with a mature, classy look. Dressed to the nines, in tight black pants, a fitted white dress shirt with a black blazer thrown over his shoulder, and shiny black dress shoes, Jiwon pulled off the _Christian Grey_ vibe perfectly. His sleek, black hair was quiffed effortlessly and smoky black eyeliner just made him look even sexier, highlighting his eyes in the best way. Tonight was his night. _Operation get Hanbin to fall in love with me is a go._

Jiwon beamed, "I love you Jinani. And June, don't lie man. I know you'd bang me if you could." 

Jinhwan cracked up. Junhoe's face turned as red as a tomato in three seconds, and his mouth was left gaping open. He was really going to kill Jiwon mercilessly one day. 

 

~

 

So, Jiwon had done a little bit of sneaking around. Or maybe a lot of it. But his work paid off and he was certain tonight everything would go accordingly to plan. Jiwon managed to get himself an invite to a fancy dinner party for YG's modeling branch that Hanbin was going to be attending at the university's largest dining hall, in the east wing. That hall was never open to students, opted for reservations and expensive ceremonies. How did he get in? The world may never know, but maybe Jiwon had black mailed the host, threatening to expose his cheating ass to his wife. Or maybe said wife got lost in Jiwon's bright, flashy smile and handed him an invite personally. Or maybe it was both. The host and hostess never seemed loyal to eachother anyways. 

Hanbin was set to play the piano at this event. The original pianist was a guy in his music composition class but he'd fallen ill and asked Hanbin to fill in for him since he could play fairly well. And when Jiwon heard about it, he had to see it for himself. He wanted Hanbin to play for him. He needed to see Hanbin's elegant fingers bounce on the black and white keys, beautiful music sounding to his ears. _Where is he? Wait what the fuck? Don't tell me.. IS THAT FUCKING JUNG JAEWON?????? Why the fuck is he touching MY Hanbin? Holy shit, I'm gonna fucking murder him._ Jiwon was absoluetly seething when he spotted Hanbin, but he wasn't alone. With an arm snaked around Hanbin's waist, there in his ugly glory, was Jaewon. Jiwon quickly stood up from the chair he was sitting in, champagne sloshing in its glass. Without thinking, he made his way over to the two boys.  
  
Jiwon's eyes blazed.

Hanbin turned shy and blushed, "Hi Jiwon. What are you doing here?" 

Immediately seeing the pink in his cheeks, Jiwon wanted to see more. No, he needed to. He wanted to see how far he could push Hanbin before he realized that Jiwon was in love with him. "Hey Hanbin, it just so happens that I randomly got an invite in the mail. Maybe they're scouting for models? I didn't really want to come but I heard you were playing pianist tonight. I wanted to see you play." Jaewon knew Jiwon was lying through his teeth and he snorted. Scouting for models? Yeah, right. Jiwon has connections to the higher ups. Or he's just good at black mailing. Either way, Jiwon's here from an actual invite, while Jaewon was just lucky enough to accompany Hanbin as a plus one. 

Hanbin flushed and he laughed softly, "Oh right, I'm playing tonight in replace of Donghyuk. He caught the flu and asked me to fill in for him." 

"I bet you're amazing, Bin." And then Jiwon not-so-subtly pushed Jaewon away from Hanbin, grabbing him by the wrist to drag him to the refreshments table. He looked at Jaewon and sneered, wishing he'd just get lost already. "Bro, Jaewon. I saw a girl over there looking like she was undressing you with her eyes. Get at it, man."   
  
Jaewon's eyes lit up, he'd been with his right hand for too long and it's getting boring. "Shit. Okay. Thanks, man!" And then he ran off.  Little did he know, there was no girl staring at Jaewon. Jiwon made it up, so that the dumbass could leave Hanbin alone and spend the whole night looking for someone who never existed. He cackled on the inside. _I'm a literal genius. Finally, I get to be alone with Bin. Ahhh he looks so cute. Fuck. Am I getting a boner? Shit, man. Think about June, that ugly dumbass and his stinky feet._

"Jiwon?"

Jiwon snapped from his daze when he heard Hanbin call for him. "Yeah, hey what's up, Bin? You look really good tonight."  _I could just eat you up._

Blush not leaving his face Hanbin casted his eyes at his shoes, "Thank you, Jiwon. "

"Seriously, Bin. You look so cute. I wouldn't be surprised if YG did really scout you tonight." 

Hanbin crinkled his nose, "Modeling isn't really my thing. I'm more into making music and writing lyrics that mean something. Plus I'm just playing pianist tonight." 

 _Hanbin's so modest and humble. He's perfect._ Pouring himself more champagne, Jiwon pulled out a small flask from the inside pocket of his blazer and poured a tiny amount into his glass. He winked at Hanbin, "Vodka."

Hanbin looked surprised, but he took the flask from Jiwon and chugged the strong liquid down. It burned his throat. "Why?"

"Because I love the rush."  _Fuck that was hot._

Feeling the heat, hanbin loosened the collar of his perfectly smooth white button up. He felt the alcohol settle in his system, and he was feeling more loose and at ease than before. "Thank you, Jiwon. I'm so nervous and that really settled me a bit." 

Jiwon stepped closer to Hanbin and looked down, straight into his dark eyes. With his face so close, lips nearly touching, Jiwon was fighting self control to not kiss him, no matter how much he wanted too.  _Fuck, he smells so sweet. I need a taste._  "You'll play beautifully tonight, Bin. I'll be watching in the crowd." 

Hanbin flushed red. He could feel the heat pooling in his stomach. What was happening to him? He thanked Jiwon and ran away quickly, saying it was his cue soon and that he's got to go. Jiwon smirked and let Hanbin go, but not before reaching for his hand and pressing a sweet kiss to the back of his palm. He took another sip of vodka from the hidden flask. 

_A lion is about to catch his prey._

 

 

Hanbin looked so pretty on stage. Jiwon thought he was born to be in front of the crowd, born to be up there fo perform. But a selfish part of Jiwon wanted Hanbin all to himself. He wanted to be the only one who could see Hanbin in his truest, most happiest form: making music. Even if he was just playing piano, sitting up there on the bench of the shiny white baby grand, Hanbin looked like a prince. With his graceful fingers flying across the keys, he was literally glowing. And Jiwon couldn’t get enough. He sneakily took his phone out and snapped a picture of Hanbin, eyelashes fluttering against the highs of his cheekbones, lips open in a beautiful pink pout. _God, he’s stunning._

At the end of Hanbin’s performance, Jiwon clapped loudly. He caught Hanbin’s eyes on stage and winked. Hanbin blushed and grinned widely. Jiwon mouthed at him wordlessly, “ _Meet me outside_?” Up on stage, Hanbin nodded. 

Outside the east wing, there was a rose garden. Probably the most instagrammable area on campus, because it was gorgeous-with big blooming roses of all different colors and large white benches along the walk way, it was surprisingly empty. A couple of people wandering around but that’s basically it. Jiwon thought, _maybe luck is on my side tonight_. He sat alone on a bench towards the end of the garden. That way they’d be covered by the huge rows of flowers and no distractions could interrupt them. As he waited for Hanbin, he plucked a baby pink rose and held it behind his back.

_For my beautiful princess._

Suddenly he heard some rustling, and then Hanbin’s head popped out from the end of the little maze.

“Jiwon!” Sounding like he just ran a mile, Hanbin tried to catch his breath. He stole the seat next to to Jiwon, “It felt amazing performing up there, Jiwon. At first I was so nervous and it was so bright. But when my fingertips touched the keys, and I couldn’t stop playing. Music flowed out of me like a waterfall. It was the most thrilling thing ever. I loved it.”

“Yeah, Bin, you played so well tonight. And you looked gorgeous. I couldn’t stop staring.” He pulled the rose from behind his back and turned to Hanbin. Jiwon shakily reached up and tucked the flower behind his ear, smoothing a piece of fluffy blonde hair to keep the rose in place.

“It’s for you. You look like an angel.”

Hanbin flushed scarlet, and he reached up to touch the smooth petals of the rose. He never felt this pretty before. He looked at Jiwon and didn’t realize how close the two boys were. Jiwon was looking at Hanbin with something unreadable in his eyes. His breath was mingling with Hanbin’s and their lips were so close that if Jiwon moved the slightest bit, he could press his lips to Hanbin’s. He licked his lips unconsciously and Hanbin’s wide eyes followed the movement.

_Fuck. It's now or never._

The two boys were sitting so close, knee to knee, thighs pressing against one anothers', any closer and Hanbin would pratically be on Jiwon's lap. Not that Jiwon minded at all. He leaned in, close to Hanbin's ear, and whispered, "Hey Bin, I- " 

....

There was like some sort of shrieking in the background, near the front of the rose garden. Jiwon forced himself to ignore it. Good thing Hanbin had all his attention on Jiwon because it seemed like he didn't even notice it. He continued on, "Hanbin, actually I-"

[In the distance] "HANBIN?!!!!!??!?!?!" 

 _The fuck was that? Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed. Calm down, Jiwon._ He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. But when Jiwon looked up, Hanbin's attention was no longer on him. 

"Did someone call my name?" 

Anxiously, Jiwon shook his head. He needed to get the words out right now. "Errrr... no I think you're just hearing things. Anyways Hanbin, I just- "

[In the distance] "BIN?????? Where you at, bro???" 

Confused, Hanbin, looked around, "No, someone's definitely looking for me." 

"Nah, nah. There's no one. Bin, listen. I-" 

And then, Jung Jaewon showed up. 

_FUCK MY LIFE. HONESTLY FUCK IT ALL TO HELL, MAN._

Breathless, Jaewon gasped for air, "Why're you hiding here, Binnnnn~ You know how much I ran around looking for you? I thought you left and went back to the dorm without me. I don't have a ride back, bro."

_I'm gonna fucking kill this guy. Stop interrupting me and Hanbin, you stupid dumbass._

Jaewon turned towards Jiwon, frowning, "And bro, Jiwon. I tried looking for the girl that was checking me out but she disappeared. Like, I can't find her anywhere. I even thought she'd wait for me at the bathrooms, but there was no one there. I checked the boys' and girl's restrooms, bro. The fuck? Where'd she go?" 

_YOU'RE SO FUCKING DUMB. MY GOD, GET OUT OF MY SIGHT._

Jiwon was so pissed but he couldn't let it show. Instead, he laughed cooly, "Try harder, bro. I bet she's hiding around here somewhere." 

"Nah, man. I'm so tired, I don't even think I can get it up at this point." 

Jiwon rolled his eyes, annoyed and Hanbin crinkled his nose in disgust, "Gross, Jae." 

Jaewon just shrugged and let out a yawn, "It's the truth. Anyways, let's go Bin. I want to pass the fuck out." 

Sighing, Jiwon knew there was no way he could confess now.  _Not with this dumbass here_. But he wanted to be around Hanbin so badly. _Should I take him to my apartment? I mean, I have all his favorite foods there. Plus my bed is big so..."_

Jaewon looked at both boys, wondering why no one was responding to him. The fuck? Was he invisble or something? He started to whine, sturning to Jiwon, "Hey hyung? Bro, can you take us home? We don't have a car." 

_Fuck no, you're not stepping into my car. The dorms aren't even far from here, just walk, you stupid dick head. You dumb love ruiner. God, I could fucking murder you for interupting me and my baby. We were about to kiss too, you asshole._

Jiwon was about to open his mouth, but one look at Hanbin's wide eyes and cute aegyo, he knew he couldn't let the other boy walk. And so he had no choice but to take both Hanbin and Jaewon home.  _I want to cry._

 

That night, in his kakao friends group chat, Jiwon sent out a text. 

Jiwon: :( 

June: bro, did u bang? 

Jiwon: :( 

June: LMAO, that sux. wut hapn?  

Jiwon: :( 

June: Yo, u gud man? 

Jiwon: no. 

Jinan: me and june will be at ur place in 5. choco or strawbrry? 

Jiwon: both. bring sum vodka pls. 

Jinan: ofc x. 


	3. three.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> loving is easy, I can't even hide it

The next few weeks were spent with Jiwon moping around, binging on crap tons of junk food, and daydreaming about Hanbin. Ever since that night at the YG model launch party, the latter boy has been so busy that Jiwon barely got to get glimpses of him even when he was on his secret spy missions. Jiwon would catch Hanbin buying an iced blueberry latte at the coffee shop and then going back to his dorm, where he now spent most of his time. Jiwon was so anxious, always wondering about what Hanbin was doing, especially since he knew that Jaewon asshole was his roommate. That just made the whole situation a hundred times worse. He could only think of the worst of what could happen in that small room with his precious angel and that stupid rapper. 

 _God, I'm going crazy._ He wanted to see Hanbin. No, he _needed_ to see the boy. 

"Juneeeee~"

"What up, dickhead?" 

"I miss Hanbin." 

"Bro, I know. You've been whining nonstop for the last 3 weeks. What's up with him anyways? Don't you calculate his exact moves? So like, what's he been doing?" 

"That's the thing, June. I don't know! Bin's been like caught up in his dorm room and I barely see him outside at all. I've caught him drinking blueberry lattes a few times. Or like I saw him at the convience store eating spicy ramen with that disgusting kimchi he likes. But that's like basically it. I miss him, man." 

Jiwon hiccuped. Were those tears in his eyes?

"Jesus," Junhoe thought, "this kid is too much." He rolled his eyes and texted Jinhwan to let him know what's up and what they should do. As Jiwon's bestfriends, they couldn't let him waste away like this. He turned his attention back to Jiwon, who was now giggling at his phone. Damn, this kid was bipolar too. One minute he's crying and the next he's laughing like a lunatic. "Clearly, I'm friends with a pyschopath." 

Jiwon sputtered at his phone, he was watching memes on instagram and saw these naked alien things dancing, "LMFAO, that's wack." 

Junhoe resisted to urge his need to roll his eyes. Who the fuck says LMFAO outloud? 

 

 

"OH MY GOD. Bro! BRO!!!" 

"The fuck, Jiwon?!" 

So, Junhoe ended up taking Jiwon to eat ice cream, on Jinhwan's request only. Not that Junhoe wanted to. Cause he didn't. He seriously wondered if he could take another second being around the boy who would obnoxiously order the largest cup and proceed to fill it up with weird American flavors. And the worst part was that once they were seated at a small table, Junhoe with a small cup of strawberry and Jiwon with his large cup of what looked like rainbow throwup, Jiwon whipped out his phone to show an uninterested June dumb memes and pictures of Hanbin. Junhoe was neither laughing or smiling in adoration like Jiwon. It was actually the opposite, he was so close to choking Jiwon and his obsessive self. And then, Jiwon started whispering urgently. 

"June, don't look right now- I SAID DON'T LOOK. BRO!!!! THE FUCK JUNE??"

"The fuck? Did you just? Hit me? Why are you yelling???" 

"Oh my god, Junhoe. Shut the fuck up bro, he's coming over here." 

"???? The hell is going on?"

Jiwon struggled to sit up in his chair normally. He scooped a large amount of ice cream and shoved it into his mouth, grabbing a spoon filling it up with extra Rocky Road and shoved it into June's mouth. With a mouth full of the sweet dessert, he nudged June and said the best he could, "Act fucking normal. Or else." 

Junhoe choked on the thick sweetness that Jiwon just crammed into his mouth. He thinks his mouth is sewn shut because of the tacky marshmallows. "This flavor is seriously disgusting," he thought. June turned to Jiwon, ready to cause a scene and not really caring about the consequences. "Normal, my ass. I'm gonna-" 

"AGH!" Jiwon had actually kicked him. _Hard_ in the shin. 

"Hey Jiwon! Junhoe." Junhoe looked up in pain, his face a flushing red from the kick, to see a grinning Hanbin holding a chocolate ice cream cone.

June looked across at Jiwon, who had murder in his eyes. _Don't you dare fuck this up for me._ Junhoe sighed and all he could do was smile weakly at Hanbin. 

Swallowing the last of his dessert, Jiwon spoke up, "Hey, Binn~"

Hanbin immediately blushed, feeling Jiwon's direct eyes on him. "Hi Jiwon."

"What've you been up too? I haven't seen you around in a long time." Jiwon pouted. Like, actually pouted, pink lips pulled into a frown. Hanbin's eyes followed the movement and he gulped. He quickly averted his eyes and looked back up to Jiwon.

"Yeah, actually Jaewon's caught this nasty flu so I've been doing work around the dorm, trying to keep it as clean as possible. And he's been like begging me to nurse him back to health. Jae's a bit of a child so I'm usually just in the dorm with him, giving him medicine and stuff."

Jiwon's blood ran cold. His worst suspicions were being confirmed by Hanbin himself. Jiwon's worst nightmares of Hanbin and Jaewon in a room locked up together have become a reality in itself. He couldn't stand the fact and he angrily thought of ways to make Jaewon dissappear from the university. 

Junhoe, on the other hand, could see how Jiwon's eye was starting to twitch with irritation. The ice cream parlor had gone awkward with silent tension. While Jiwon was fuming, Hanbin just looked confused to as why no one was answering him. June let out a long breath. 

"Okay well... Jinan is calling for me so I'm just gonna go. Hanbin, tell Jaewon I hope he gets better. Jiwon, I'll come visit you again." Written in Junhoe's eyes were a clear sign of  _don't do anything dumb_. 

Jiwon's eyebrows rose in panic. He was gonna be alone with the boy he was deprived of seeing for weeks.  _What if my dick gets hard??_

"U-uh, why has Junhoe been visiting you lately? Usually I never see you guys together," Hanbin stuttered out, with a hint of jealousy in his tone. 

Jiwon nodded mindlessly, "I usually wouldn't hangout with that guy too. But Jinhwan's been too busy to be with me so June sort of took his place? I don't really know why he's been coming to my place a lot.." 

Hanbin's face turned a bit stormy but he quickly shook it off, opting to sit in June's place instead. He opened his mouth to say something but before he could get a word out, Jiwon grabbed the hand not holding the choco cone into his own. 

"Bin, let's hang out. Right now!!" Jiwon saw the chance and he seized it. He couldn't waste away this window of opportunity to hangout with Hanbin alone and not with that annoying bug Jaewon.

Jiwon lit up like a lamp but Hanbin looked almost scared. His eyes widened in surprise, was Jiwon asking him to drop everything to be with him in this moment?  Yes, he was. Hanbin looked across the table and saw Jiwon with puppy like eyes and a perfect put on his almost red bitten lips. How could Hanbin say no when the boy across from him looked unbelievably attractive. 

"Ri-right now?" 

"Yes!"

"O-okay. Where are we gonna go? What are we gonna do?" Hanbin looked slightly worried and a bit anxious. 

"Bin, I just want to be with you. It doesn't matter to me what we do or where we're at." 

Hanbin flushed deeply, "Jiwon..." 

Jiwon flashed a bright smile, "How 'bout karaoke? I'll grace you with my beautiful singing." 

And Hanbin could never say no to Jiwon. 

 

 

Hanbin was a terrible singer. The two boys had rented out a noraebang for one hour, filled with snacks, flashy disco lights, and went on blasting their favorite songs. Jiwon had a beautiful voice, slightly husky with just the right amount of baritone. The same couldn't be said for Hanbin, who sounded similarly to a dying whale. But Jiwon, being the hopless idiot he was, found it adorable and endearing as he watched Hanbin belt out Red Velvet lyrics while attempting to do the girly dance moves. Although Hanbin was not blessed with the best ability to sing, the boy could dance. The way he snapped his hips back and forth was so sinful that Jiwon could not take his eyes off. His growing desire to wrap himself behind Hanbin and grind against his backside was almost unbearable. Jiwon wanted him so badly. He bit his lips as arousal pooled in his stomach just from watching Hanbin. 

"STRAWBERRY GEU MAT CORNER CANDY SHOP CHAJA BWA BABY!!!" Hanbin's face flushed red from singing so much, but he looked the happiest Jiwon has ever seen him. He hoped that he was the sole cause for Hanbin's happiness. Jiwon would do anything for the boy. With love shining in his eyes, Jiwon watched Hanbin sing as he reached over to pop a can of strawberry soda. He brought the can to his lips when suddenly the loud singing stopped. Hanbin was looking at him with a weird look in his eyes. When he was caught staring, he quickly adverted his eyes back to the large screen. Jiwon took a large sip of soda before grabbing his own mic. 

"Hanbin, wanna hear me free style rap?" Jiwon was a rapper. There was no denying that his skill set was on a different level than most mediocre rappers at their university. Jiwon had talent and huge amounts of it too. He knew exactly how to hype a crowd up. It was like he was made for the stage; Jiwon flashed major confidence when he rapped but the boy remained humble. He never showed off and he didn't brag. He wanted to be known by his lyrics, by his ferocious rap game, but he didn't want to be seen as some hater who spit disses for no apparent reason. Jiwon wanted his lyrics to have meaning, to mean something other than sex, drugs, and fame. To him, writing lyrics was like art and his own personal muse was Kim Hanbin. He wanted to show Hanbin that he was a masterpiece. And what better way could Jiwon show him besides through rap? 

_Sometimes, I'm poison to you_

_I might give you a hard time baby_

_But after time, when you look back_

_I hope you'll be smiling, my baby_

_So I can be your last that no one else was_

_So come and take my hand_

Jiwon took a look into Hanbin's dark eyes, and Hanbin not daring to look away, stared back. Jiwon, clutching the microphone closely to his chest took a deep breath and continued, but this time instead of rap, he sang. 

_I'll hold onto you_

_When you're about to collapse_

_I'll be your shoulder_

_So you can rest_

_I'll walk with you_

_When no one's there_

_I won't let go of your hand_

_I'll keep telling you_

_Baby, I'm in love with you_

_That I'm in love with you_

Jiwon's husky voice filled the room with so much emotion that the room itself felt smaller than it had been. The world seemed to stop as Jiwon basically confessed to Hanbin through his rap. He'd pour his emotions into it and he could only hope that Hanbin understood. He'd practically told the boy that he was in love with him after all. If Hanbin still couldn't understand, well, Jiwon could only re-evaluate his initial thoughts on Hanbin's smartness. 

And Hanbin? He was speechless. Was the song directed to him? Who could Jiwon have written about?

“That was beautiful, Jiwon,” Hanbin spoke, almost bitterly. He didn’t want to hear about Jiwon‘s love. Or who he was in love with.

Jiwon’s face fell. Did Hanbin not understand that the song was directed to him?

“Hanbin, I-“

Right then, the man in charge of the karaoke bar stomped into the room, “Kids, your time is up. Do you want to pay for another hour for noraebang?”

Hanbin shook his head quickly, “No sir, we’ll leave right away.” He couldn’t stand to be in the room with Jiwon right now, not when the boy had sang about being in love with someone other than him. Hanbin wanted to go home and cry.

And Jiwon felt the same way. Did Hanbin really not understand? Or was he feigning innocence? Did he not like Jiwon? Is that why he couldn’t accept the latter’s feelings? Jiwon had so many questions but the one that stood out most was: why the fuck was he always being interrupted whenever he was with Hanbin? Did fate not want them together?

 _Fuck fate, honestly_. _I’ll find a way to be with Hanbin even if the world burns down around us._

But first, Jiwon had to get Hanbin to know about his feelings. He could no longer hold back and he wanted to let Hanbin know immediately how deeply he was in love with him. But how could he when Hanbin was so set on leaving without Jiwon?

“Jiwon, I have to go first. Jaewon texted me and he said he needs my help,” Hanbin said as he rushed to get out though the door.

“Bin, wait!”

Hanbin did not hear Jiwon. Or if he did, he ignored him. Jiwon could not fathom what was happening. Did they not almost share a kiss in the rose garden a few weeks ago? Didn’t the two boys share a moment before Jaewon had so rudely interrupted them? Jiwon wondered why Hanbin was running away. He wondered if those moments that were always on replay in his mind were imaginary. Jiwon would almost think they were made up, had he not capture the beautiful picture on his phone of Hanbin gracefully playing the piano. So he knew for sure that night was real.

_You know, fuck it._

Jiwon ran out the door, after Hanbin. He saw Hanbin trudge in front of him, only a few feet away, as he walked towards the direction of their university. Jiwon quickly jogged up to the boy. Looking up at the graying sky, clouding over with heavy blankets of white fluff, Jiwon took off the thick coat his was wearing and draped it onto Hanbin’s shoulders. The latter whipped around in surprise, tilting his head up and seeing Jiwon’s bright eyes.

“Hey Bin,” Jiwon said softly. “Let me drive you to the dorms. It looks like it’s about to rain.”

And rain it did. The sky started crying as soon as Jiwon spoke. Shocked, Hanbin looked at Jiwon as ran drops begun to splatter on his pale skin. He nodded, “Okay, let’s go!”

Jiwon and Hanbin quickly ran to the karaoke bar’s back parking lot, as Jiwon hurriedly unlocked his sleek, black Mercedes Benz. Oh yeah, Jiwon was rich. He never suffered the cruel life of an average college student. But even though he was loaded, Jiwon never showed off which was ironic because here he was driving an expensive foreign car. He wore hoodies and sweatpants and looked every bit like the ordinary uni student who lived off instant ramen and free WiFi.

“Get in, Bin.” Jiwon swiftly opened the passenger door for a shivering Hanbin.

“Thank you, Jiwon.”

Jiwon’s heart was beating rapidly. _You’re so fucking cute. And you look so adorable draped in my coat. I wish I could wrap you up and take you home. I wish I could be with you forever._ He walked over to the drivers side of the Benz, got in, and buckled his seat belt. “Don’t forget yours, Bin.”

Hanbin laughed softly, “I’d never, Jiwon. You know I’m a very safe person.”

Jiwon did know. He knew that Hanbin took every precaution there was. Hanbin would never skip out on a seatbelt, especially with a driver he’d never been with. Before class, he would have every pencil sharpened, every pen-ink refilled, and highlighters arranged by color. When he saw movies at the theater, Hanbin would buy tickets hours earlier, worried they’d be sold out if he didn’t get them beforehand. Prior to getting into a taxi, Hanbin would always have 119 on speed dial. The boy had an instinctual need to protect himself from the dirtied world. Naturally, he was scared. And Jiwon knew this. He knew from the countless amount of hours he spent stalking the boy that Hanbin was scared. Which was why his responsibility and matureness shone so brightly. He wanted to be prepared for anything, especially if said thing challenged him.

“I know, Bin.”

And Jiwon started the car, blasting the heat on high. He drummed his fingers on the steering wheel, waiting for the car to warm up. Mentally preparing himself, Jiwon took a deep breath. It was now or never. As he started to pull out of the parking lot, he turned to see Hanbin with his eyes closed, seemingly asleep.

_I love you._

Jiwon sighed. His chance to confess was gone but his hope hasn’t dissipated yet. Hanbin was his one and only, and he’d be damned if he let him get away. He looked at the tired boy sitting next to him, skin so alabaster that he could see faint blue veins spreading beautifully through the translucent skin, veiling his fragile bones. This was the boy Jiwon was in love with. He was so profoundly in love that Jiwon almost felt the air around him closing up, the only thing in focus was Hanbin. And how badly he wanted the other boy to know of his love. So Jiwon talked to deaf ears and himself.

“Hanbin, I- I really like you. No actually, I’m in love with you. _I love you._ I love you so much that I can’t stand it. I‘m so stupidly in love with you that you’re on my mind every second of the day. No matter how hard I try, I can’t shake you out of my head. And I’m scared, Bin. I’m so scared. I’m fucking terrified. What if I’m in love with you forever and I never get rid of the tightness in my chest?”

Jiwon took a deep breath, taking in the sight of the sleeping boy. God, how much he wanted to press his lips against Hanbin’s.

“Bin, I can’t fucking stand the thought of you with someone else. It kills me. So I’m so fucking scared. I’m scared of feeling like this forever, like I’m chasing something that’s infinite miles away. What if this never goes away? What if I’m never happy again? Hanbin, you make me the happiest person I’ve ever been and that really terrifies me. But Bin, I’ve tried. I swear I’ve tried but I can’t stop. I can’t stop loving you because you’re so goddamn perfect. The way you anxiously tap your fingers against your thigh when you’re nervous. Or the way you angrily roll your eyes whenever you get a blueberry latte that’s not iced. I love you even if you eat disgusting kimchi. I love every part of you and I just wish you knew that. I want to be with you so badly, Hanbin. If I could whisk you away into a world that’s just you and me, I’d do it in a heartbeat. _God, I’m so in love with you and I just can’t fucking stop_.”

Jiwon ranted on and on until the sky stopped drizzling with rain. When the thick droplets of percipitation no longer hit his window he looked over at Hanbin and sighed softly. "I swear I'm gonna tell you everything I just said all over again when you're awake. I love you, Bin. I'll love you forever if you let me." 

But little did Jiwon know, Hanbin was not asleep. 

_Loving is easy, I can't even hide it._


	4. four.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> loving is easy, it used to be so hard to see.

Hanbin has never been the best actor. He remembers trying out for a drama production back in highschool and being heavily rejected the moment he spoke one line by the drama club's asshole president, Choi Rae Sung. And because of the humilation of being rejected, a 16 year old Hanbin could not stop crying his eyes out for the next few days. He could neither sing nor could he act, so what could he do for his future life? This worried Hanbin and he bcame so distressed over the thought of being talentless that he took up a common hobby: art. Hanbin dedicated his time to sketching, painting, taking pictures, composing music, and every other form of art that there was. A few years later, he became an art major at Seoul National University. 

That being said, Hanbin was obviously talented. Just not in acting. Or singing. Or playing video games. But of course, Hanbin was ridiciously good at playing piano and he was even good at writing lyrics that he could not sing. Sometimes he would spend time writing song lyrics for Jaewon and composing music with him. 

"Jiwon likes me? _Jiwon is in love with me?_ " Hanbin spent the next few days pondering over the insane information that Jiwon had secretly passed to him. His heart bubbled up, swelling with love. His mind deliriously creating different scenarios that would happen once he became Jiwon's boyfriend. Hanbin frowned,  _if he ever became Jiwon's boyfriend._ He was incredibly shocked when he overheard Jiwon talking to him in his sleep, but when Hanbin got back to his dorm, he flew onto his bed and smothered his crazy smile into his pillow. Luckily, Jaewon wasn't home yet, or else he would've caught Hanbin rolling around on his bed with his non stop giggles. How could such a perfect boy be in love with Hanbin? Hanbin was just a plain wallflower compared to the shining sun that was Jiwon. 

"Jiwonieeee~ kekeke" Hanbin was still smiling like a maniac, staring at a secret photo of Jiwon that he took at the rap impromtu that happened a while ago. The same rap competition that left Jiwon humilated when he lost to a certain fucking Jung Jaewon. But Hanbin being the sneaky kitten that he was, managed to snap a picture of Jiwon before things turned to shit. He thought he looked so hot, up on stage, veins popping out on his neck as he rapped beautiful lyrics with so much passion. You could literally feel the heat in his voice. Surprisingly Jiwon was not the only obsessive one, for Hanbin had an unhealthy infatuation with the former. 

"Bro...? Uh.. the fuck are you doing?" 

Hanbin shrieked, he was so busy making heart eyes at Jiwon's picture that he didn't even hear the door of the dorm opening. He quickly shoved his phone under his pillow. "I-I uhhhhhhhh _nothing_. What's up, man?" 

Jaewon, who walked into the dorm holding a takeout container of spicy tteokbokki for him and Hanbin, had suspicious written all over his face. He squinted at Hanbin, whose cheeks  were heating up in panic, “What’s on your phone, Bin? Can I see?”

Hanbin shook his head so quickly Jaewon thought he would get whiplash, “N-no man! There’s nothing to see.”

“Why’d you throw your phone under your pillow?”

“I-I was just shocked because I didn’t hear the door open.”

Jaewon thought for a few seconds. A moment later his eyes widened drastically.  “Bin... don’t tell me you were, uh, jacking off??? Oh my god, Hanbin.”

Hanbin’s eyes grew in size too. Surprised, he yelped, “The fuck?! Jaewon, no stop!!”

An evil glint appeared in Jaewon’s eyes. He set the tteokbokki on his desk and crept slowly towards Hanbin’s bed. Before he could snag Hanbin’s phone from under his pillow, Hanbin snatched the device, clutching it close to his chest. “Jae! The fuck are you doing man??? I said it was nothing.”

Jaewon smirked, “Bro, don’t worry. We all have needs. I just didn’t expect you to _you know_ at like 6 in the afternoon. It’s almost fucking dinner time man. I bought tteokbokki too. Anyways, what type of porn do you watch?”

Hanbin’s eyes bulged. He smacked Jaewon in the back of his head, “Shut the fuck up Jae! I wasn’t doing a-anything.”

Rubbing the back of his head, Jaewon pouted, "Ouch Bin, Jesus, did you have to hit me that hard? Jacking off is natural, you shouldn't be ashamed bro." 

"JUNG JAEWON."

"Okay okay, I'm sorry. You weren't doing anything. Heh. OUCH. THE FUCK?! I SAID I WAS SORRY, BIN. PLEASE STOP HITTING ME!" 

"Give me the tteokbokki." 

"Ok.

 

~

 

Now that Hanbin knew Jiwon was in love with him, there was a certain glow that surrounded the boy. He was so ridiciously obessed with the idea of him and Jiwon becoming one, that the love radiated off his whole soul, illuminating his pale skin. Love proved that it _does_ change a person. Hanbin skipped around campus, doing good deeds here and there, helping the elderly walk across the street, buying extra honey pancakes from the vendor near his dorm, etc. 

"LOVE IS AN OPEN DOORRRR~" 

All Hanbin had to do was accept the confession where Jiwon told him that he was in love with him. Then he'd happily tell the boy that Hanbin loved him too. They'd kiss and run off into a paradise where it'd just be them, making eachother happy for the rest of eternity. 

Hanbin giggled, he'd been creating scenarios in his mind ever since he heard the secret confession. Now he was just waiting for the real thing. Hanbin frowned. He'd been so distracted by his own delirious thoughts that he actually forgot when was the last time he'd seen Jiwon. Hanbin realized it's been weeks since the karaoke date so why hasn't Jiwon confessed yet? Better yet, where was Jiwon? Usually he'd spot Jiwon randomly throughout the day, maybe at the library or at the convience store, but for the past few weeks, he hasn't seen the boy nor his best friends. It was like Jiwon had fallen off the face of the earth. 

Growing anxious, Hanbin went rampant with wild thoughts.  _Does Jiwon not love me anymore? Did something happen to him? Is Jiwon okay?_ Confusion turned to worry and Hanbin found himself growing anxious over Jiwon's whereabouts, and whether or not he was doing okay and eating well. 

Hanbin whined quietly to himself, "I want to see him." But, Hanbin had no way to come in direct contact with Jiwon nor did he have his number. He cursed himself mentally.  _Why have I never asked Jiwon for his number? Oh yeah, cause I'm dumb as fuck, that's why._

Like fate was calling out to him, Hanbin suddenly caught Junhoe walking into the cafe that he was currently occupying,  _dreaming about Jiwon_ , and his brain lit up with the most brilliant idea. Junhoe was one of Jiwon's best friends so he had to know what the boy what doing, right? With this in mind, Hanbin sprung up from his seat, leaving behind his half finished _iced_ blueberry latte and rapidly approached Junhoe. The latter was currently behind the counter squinting at the menu board above him. 

 _"That dumbfuck. I forgot his order already, shit,"_ Junhoe thought anxiously. _"Jinan will kill me if I mess this up."_ He was still staring at the menu, when Junhoe suddenly felt a tap on his shoulder. He whipped around and to his surprise, his eyes were met with Hanbin's. 

Hanbin looked almost sheepish when he spoke, "Hey Junhoe. What brings you here?" 

"I'm buying a drink." 

Hanbin flushed, he felt so embarassed.  _No, you idiot. He's here to rob the fucking cafe._ Hanbin wanted to slap himself for not thinking properly, especially whenever something remotely related to Jiwon made him feel like a new born fawn. 

In all honesty, Hanbin and Junhoe did not know eachother well, but Hanbin already had an idea that he didn't like the boy.  _Why's he always around Jiwon when he has his own boyfriend?_ Hanbin scoffed, _must be a dumb fuckboy. Like, okay you're attractive but I bet you have the intellect of a five year old. Not to mention, all you've got going for you is your height and stupid face._

Hanbin was so engaged in his heated thinking that he didn't realise he hadn't replied to Junhoe, and the latter was looking at him with a bored look. Junhoe coughed, "So like... are you gonna say anything or can I order my drink now?" 

"Uh, it's just I've never seen you come here before. That's all." 

Junhoe sighed, "Yeah, actually I'm here to buy a drink for Jiwon. He says his favorite drink is only sold at this cafe, but I think that's bullshit. He probably only comes here because- oh shit nevermind," Junhoe started to laugh anxiously, scolding himself mentally for almost giving the big secret away. 

_I knew you were up to something, you fuckboy. Don't even try to buy Jiwon's heart with coffee, asshole, he's in love with ME._

Hanbin's tone turned cold, "Do you even know his favorite drink? Why have you been standing here for so long?"

Junhoe was stunned for a second. Was Jiwon's crush dissing him? He'd been nothing but kind to the boy before but today he just wasn't in the mood so sue him if he'd been a little rude. _"The fuck?"_ Junhoe thought. _"What a disrespectful piece- OH SHIT. Hanbin's probably jealous that I'm about to see Jiwon. Fuck yeah, time to have some fun."_  

"Yeah, I know his favorite drink. I know his favorite color and his favorite movie and basically his favorite everything. Do you?" 

It was like Junhoe was _trying_ to rub salt in his wound. Hanbin, heating up in anger, almost snapped viciously. Instead, he reminded himself that this was Jiwon's best friend, and if Hanbin killed him, it'd all come back to haunt him in hell. "I'd like to find out." 

 _"Damn, that was smooth,"_ Junhoe thought. _"Wait, so does this kid actually like Jiwon back? Shit, maybe instead of pissing him off, I should bring them together and do Jinani proud. Okay yeah, Imma do this."_  

"Actually, Hanbin. I'm not feeling well, suddenly. Could you do me a huge favor and buy Jiwon's drink? He's really sick with the flu right now and I was suppose to pick up the drink and some soup for him. Could you do that for me?" 

Hanbin felt panic rise in his chest. What was Junhoe saying? Is he telling him to play nurse for Jiwon? _Jiwon's sick? S_ _hit, I can't be alone with him, what if I do something insane?_ But before he could get a word out, Junhoe was already shoving a small slip of paper to his chest. Then the boy smirked and rushed out the cafe door, "Thank you, Hanbin. I owe you one." 

~Once outside, Junhoe smiled to himself, _"More like you owe me one. Actually Jiwon and Hanbin both owe me, many.  Anyways, I'll leave it up to Hanbin to figure out that asshole's favorite drink."_ June laughed, he couldn't wait to call Jinhwan about what he did. _"I'd make you proud, baby."_ ~

Back in the cafe, Hanbin was having trouble breathing. He'd just been shoved Jiwon's  _address. This is where Jiwon lives, oh my god._ Along with the address, he'd been given the responsibility of curing Jiwon back to health. This was his _chance_ and unlike the previous scared puppy he was, Hanbin knew he'd be damned if he screwed up his one shot of being in Jiwon's apartment _alone_ with him. 

He quickly ran up to the counter and made his best guess at Jiwon's favorite drink, "One _tall iced Americano with extra caramel_ , please." 

Once Hanbin got the drink, he remembered he was suppose to pick up soup along the way for Jiwon. His mind blanked, _where can I get soup that's like homemade and actually healthy?_ He scrunched his nose, this was _Seoul-_ home of delicious, fattening street foods, spicy rice cakes, thick meats for barbeque, and heavy soups. Where could he find a light, hearty soup filled with natural antioxidants? Hanbin almost considered making the soup himself, but then he realized his dorm didn't even have a kitchen. 

Hanbin moaned, "Fuck, should I call my mom to make it? But she lives in Busan.."

As he kicked pebbles along the busy streets of the city, he was reminded that not too long ago, he'd been in charge of nursing Jaewon from the flu that Jiwon was probably cursed with now. He'd gotten a delicious chicken soup for the boy a few weeks ago at the local ahjumma's noodle shop not too far from the university. Hanbin was estatic and he practically ran to the shop. 

The moment Hanbin stepped into the store, the smell of fresh dumplings and noodles filled his nose. He smiled at the familar scent, it smelt like home. He quickly ordered one samgyetang, a hearty ginseng chicken soup for Jiwon. When recieving the soup, the scent of fresh ginseng wafted through his nose and he breathed in the heavenly aroma, closing his eyes. Mentally preparing himself, Hanbin chanted in his head, _I'm gonna be alone with Jiwon. I'm gonna be alone in his apartment with him._ _I can do this. This is my chance. I will not fuck this up._

With new found confidence, Hanbin skipped out of the noodle shop, one hand holding an iced Americano and the other occupied with one to-go order of hot samgyetang. Humming "Love Scenario" by one of Hanbin's favorite idol groups, he walked the short distance to the address that Junhoe gave him. He was lucky both the shop and Jiwon's apartment was close to the university because he didn't want the soup to go cold or for the ice to melt in the drink. Hanbin ignored his heavy heart beating loudly in his chest. _I can do this._

 

_~_

 

Hanbin looked up at the apartment building, double checking with the small slip of paper that Junhoe had given him. Not expecting such an expensive, sleek looking building, Hanbin wondered if he'd gone to the right place. But Jiwon did drive a seemingly new Mercedes Benz, so maybe it wasn't that surprising that he lived here. This building, though close to the university, Hanbin had never seen it before because he lived in the dorms on the other side of the school. All his classes were spaced out in the center of the campus, so he never really had any business to wander over to this side.   
  
_"Shit, it's so big."_ Hanbin almost felt out of place as he stepped into the lobby of the building, making his way to the elevator. Jiwon lived all the way at the top, on the 11th floor. So with the excess time he spent in the elevator as he made his way up to Jiwon's, Hanbin mentally prepared himself for everything that could happen. 

Once the elevator pinged his arrival, Hanbin shakily made his way down the hallway to Jiwon's door. As he got to the chic grey door that marked  _112_ , he reached up with unsteady fingers to ring the doorbell. 

"It's open," Jiwon's hoarse voice called through the door. 

_Oh my fucking god, this is happening._

Hanbin slowly opened the door. He found Jiwon on a huge black leather couch, wrapped up like a burrito, watching  _cartoons?_ on the large flat screen TV that was mounted on the wall. 

"June? Did you bring the soup? I'm fucking dying, bro."

_Oh shit, Junhoe never told Jiwon I was coming instead? Fuck._

Hanbin sheepishly stepped into view, into the large _penthouse_ , with just him and Jiwon alone. 

"Surprise?" 

Jiwon turned his head towards the door and when his eyes made contact with Hanbin's, his jaw dropped in surprise. Was Hanbin actually in his apartment right now? _"What the fuck is happening?"_ Jiwon's mouth turned dry, the love of his life was standing right before him. He felt like he was in a literal dream. _"l look like a fucking idiot right now. And I'm watching fucking cartoons? Oh my god, this is so embarassing,"_ Jiwon's mind littered itself with thoughts. He stumbled to compose himself. 

"Bin! What are you doing here? Is that for me?" Jiwon gestured to the soup and drink still in Hanbin's shaking hands. 

Looking as pale as a ghost, Hanbin wavered, "Hey, Jiwon. I bumped into Junhoe at the coffee shop and he told me you were sick with the flu. He said he was gonna go to your place but suddenly felt sick so he sent me instead. I hope you don't mind." 

 _"Junhoe's an actual angel,"_ Jiwon thought, a bit bitterly, because that asshole actually came up with a genius idea. He now had Hanbin trapped in his apartment, alone with him and only him. He smiled brightly, "Nah, I'm actually glad it's you."

Hanbin blushed and he felt _so, so_ relieved when he saw Jiwon’s smile full of sunshine and just _warmth_.

“How’re you feeling, Jiwon? I brought you a container of hot samgyetang. Hopefully it’ll warm you up,” Hanbin scrunched his nose the tiniest bit. “I didn’t know your favorite drink so I put my best guess and got you an iced Americano with extra caramel.”

 _We’re soulmates._ Jiwon exclaimed excitedly, “Bin!! That’s my favorite drink.”

Hanbin beamed. He looked a bit awkward standing near the door, hands still cluttered with Jiwon’s needs, but the latter thought he looked absolutely adorable. Snapping from his daze, Jiwon quickly unwrapped the blanket from around himself and got up to help Hanbin settle the items on the counter in the kitchen.

“Jiwon! It’s fine, you don’t have to get up. You’re sick.”

“It’s okay Bin. I’m actually feeling a lot better now that you’re here!!” Jiwon truly did feel better the moment he laid eyes on said boy.

Hanbin smiled softly, looking around the penthouse. “Woah, Jiwon. Your apartment is beautiful.” The walls were decorated with beautiful pieces of contemporary art and throughout the simple black and white theme of the apartment, there was splashes of baby blue. Huge floor windows took place on the edge of the living room where a wall should’ve been, looking out into the busy city of Seoul and surprisingly, the edge of their university.

Jiwon rubbed his neck shyly, “Uh yeah, perks of being a rich businessman’s son I guess. My dad gave me this apartment to compensate for all the moments he skipped out on my life. And the Benz too.”

And Jiwon looked so sad that all Hanbin wanted to do was hug him. “I’m sorry, Jiwon.”

The sick boy shook his head, “No it’s fine. It’s always been like that. I’m pretty much used to getting random gifts signed off with notes basically saying _Daddy’s sorry_. But yeah it’s whatever. Anyways, I can’t wait to try the soup you got me,” Jiwon tried to smile as brightly as he could but his eyes looked tired.

Hanbin was determined to make Jiwon happy so he quickly diverged the subject. “Where’s your bowls? I’ll dish out the soup for you.”

Jiwon, sipping on the Americano, pointed at a cabinet across the island above Hanbin’s head.

Hanbin nodded and walked over to the white cabinet. But it was slightly too high and he couldn’t reach the handle. _Shit, this is embarrassing._ Standing on his tippy toes, Hanbin reached up, the handle inches away from his fingers.

Unexpectedly, Hanbin felt a warm, flushed body press against his back, long fingers brushing against his to open the cabinet. Reaching from behind Hanbin, Jiwon grabbed a porcelain white bowl. The former boy swirled around and he found himself trapped between the counter and Jiwon’s lean body. He couldn’t breathe and he couldn’t look up either, not daring to look into Jiwon’s eyes. Instead, they  focused on Jiwon’s chest, seeing the outline of his defined pectoral muscles. _Oh fuck, this is not good. Why’s it so hot in here, my god._

Hanbin's never ending flushed face was one that spurred Jiwon's dirty thoughts as he pressed face-to-face against the boy. _"He'd probably look so beautifully flushed when he bounces on my big-"_

Smirking, Jiwon stepped backwards, handing the bowl to Hanbin. “Here you go, Bin.”

Hanbin’s words died in his throat. The way Jiwon said his name was just so _irresistibly sexy_. He had trouble breathing when he looked up at Jiwon, eyes dark and glazed with lust. _Oh shit, what am I doing?? Jiwonie’s sick._

The blushing boy whipped around back to the counter, porcelain bowl gripped tightly in his hand. He grabbed the container of steaming samgyetang, and spooned a generous amount of liquid filled with fresh chicken and ginger into the bowl. When he turned to face the island, Hanbin found Jiwon sitting on the bar stool across from him, lips innocently sipping at the iced coffee.

“Here, Jiwon. Eat up while it’s still hot.”

“I think I’d rather eat you instead.”

 _Fuck._ Hanbin didn’t know much more it would take until he’d uncontrollably jump Jiwon. He swallowed harshly, “Jiwonie..”

Jiwon just flashed him a shiny smile and brought a spoonful of the soup to his mouth. He moaned at the taste and Hanbin’s jaw dropped. _That was the hottest fucking sound I’ve ever heard._

“Mmm this is so good, Bin. I bet you’d taste even better though.. HAHA just kidding.” Jiwon had a faint blush on this cheeks like he couldn’t believe he said that out loud. He shoveled more soup into his mouth.

Hanbin swallowed thickly, _did Jiwon just say that? Shit._ The sexual tension in the kitchen was high and his eyes began clouding over with want. But Hanbin had to control himself, he was here on a mission after all: to nurse Jiwon back to health so that he could see the boy more often.

The sound of Jiwon’s spoon clinking against the empty bowl signaled that the boy was done. He got up to put the dish in the sink. There was no sound in the kitchen at all and it started to make Jiwon feel anxious. “ _Why did I say that? I sound so creepy._ ” After rinsing the few dishes in the sink, he made his way to the pantry. Looking in, he called to Hanbin nervously, “Bin, do you want anything to eat? I have a lot of snacks.”

Truth be told, since that day where Jiwon has stalked Hanbin at the grocery store, he hadn’t touched any of the items that he bought. Partially because he didn’t really like them and also because it was the perfect opportunity to lure Hanbin into his apartment. And low and behold, the boy was actually here!

The silent boy sitting at the island immediately brightened at the mention of snacks. Hanbin jumped towards the pantry following Jiwon, and when he peeked in, he felt like he was met with snack heaven. He was surrounded by shelves filled with his favorite types of food: honey butter chips, jelly-pops, and every flavor of Pepero possible. Hanbin’s eyes widened with delight as he looked up at Jiwon.

“Woah, Jiwon. You’re so lucky. I barely have enough allowance to buy one bag of chips but this feels just like my favorite convenient store!!”

Adoration filling his tone, Jiwon smiled at the boy, “Pick your favorites and let’s go to the couch. I’m suddenly really tired and I want to watch a movie. With you.”

Hanbin was so distracted with the snacks that he didn’t really pay any mind to what Jiwon was saying. He grabbed strawberry _and_ chocolate Pepero, a packet of Ace Chocolato, and a bag of his all time favorite: honey butter chips. Holding the food close to his chest, he stepped out of the pantry, wondering where Jiwon went.

The latter boy had left the kitchen and quickly made his way to the living room’s DVD player, popping in Kill Bill: Volume 3, his _favorite_ movie. That he was about to watch with his _favorite_ boy. Jiwon made his way to the couch and fluffed up the pillows grabbing as many thick blankets as he could off the leather ottoman. He then proceeded to jump onto the couch, thick blanket wrapped around his shoulders, the rest scattered beside him.

Hanbin made a shocked appearance into the living room, seeing Jiwon snuggled up cutely. 

“Binnnn~ come here and cuddle with me pleaseeee. I’m cold.”

And Hanbin knew he was _just_   _so ridiculously fucked_.

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello~ this chapter's a bit different, focusing more on Hanbin's perspective. guess he's not the only obsessive one LOL. hope you guys enjoy!!


End file.
